Proving the Theory.

A while back Howard Stern had a show where he hooked some pornstar up to a spanking machine and it beat the crap out of her on air. I don't see how this turns anyone on... but I can assure you it was amusing... in a trainwreck sort of way. Anyway... the thing was called the Robospanker. I was convinced that civilization had not sunk to these depths so I actually followed a link to see if it was in fact a real device for sale... and... it is. No seriously. It is.

Now... nothing beats trainwreck internet... so when I saw there was actually a review section... I knew I had struck gold... but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would be this good.

Thank you.. Paul from Nashville... for this glorious review of the Robospanker... and for proving what we all already knew...

By Paul, from Nashville
I just got my new robospanker & bench, today. It wonderful. I have not been
spanked like this in a very long time. I had two of the best paddlings I've in
years. I was very close to tears on my second spanking. I also got the
bench, w. mine 7 cant wait to rty it out. It should be just like going over-
the-knee.:: My try-out spankings were bare bottomed & all the rest shall be,
as well. My intent to to work my tolerance up to maximum, on both speed
& intensity. I want to get on my bench, hit the ON button, & let the tears
flow.::THANK YOU once again for the robospanker. It is the MOST
wonderful thing I have EVER owned...next to my Harley.

Just in case you think I am jerking your chain... here is the link to the testimonials. check for yourself.

Please remember this post the next time you see some fag on a Harley dressed up like a pirate trying to act like a badass. Its probably just Paul... hoping if he pisses you off you'll take him over your knee and give him what he so desperately desires.

ATF Returns

A: Dos Equis Bueano Noche

T: Cavandish and a scrimshaw. beat that.

F: custom 1911 I built with my own hands. Ok my brothers helped to.

How about some tunes to?

Hell yeah. Feelin' better now? I sure as hell am. So lets talk about the manly arts and Christmas gifts. I mean when you can combine taxidermy and Christmas things have to be goin' your way right? Which brings me to my brother's christmas gifts. They got honest to God authenti-genuine Bull Organ walkin' sticks. Yep. Re-read that if you to. Walkin' sticks made out of preserved bull dicks. Hell yeah!

Both asserted that these were among the finest gifts they have ever been given.

How about it boys? What ya drinkin? What ya smokin? What ya fondlin'? What ya listen to? What's the most badass christmas prize you've been given?

You need to see this. No really. You do. Bonus points if you can name all the songs they start quoting in the last couple segments.

ATF: The 9/11 Anniversary Edition

Tonight I remember 9/11. I remember it for one reason and one reason alone. I remember it because it was a day that changed everything. The new normal. It effected each and every one of us. It changed how we see the world... it changed right and wrong. It changed work and home. I will never forget the reason I commemorate 9-11. I hold the day dear... like so many other days of great historical significance... because on September Eleventh...

Paul "Bear" Bryant was born.

What you were thinking I was talking about something else? Yeah... Right...

A: Makers Mark... and Jacob's Creek Merlot. I note a new screw top on it. I am well pleased.

T: I'm in a rut here boys. Same Ghurkas.

F: Taurus Tracker .357 mag. They say the seventh shot is for evil.

Awfully good to hear music about shooting government employees.

ATF

So here we go again eh?

I can't blog long... which I suppose is obvious... because I'm getting ready for Vox's fantasy football draft tomorrow... still... there are things to cover.

Such as...

A: Funf Reisling. I know I know. But I don't hide my wine nerd characteristics. I love wine. All of it. And this stuff is excellent. Yes... it comes with a screw on top. Which, people who actually know wine, know means it doesn't turn to vinegar because a cork failed. I highly recommend it. Its a little sweet but not offensive. Apples and Nectarines... all citrus and wood. The finish lasts forever. I swear you could sip a glass for an hour and never lose the taste completely. Glorious.

T: I mentioned those Gurkas. It doesn't take a psychic to predict what I'll be lighting later.

F: I saw this today... and I knew I had my ATF post down. A 3D Zombie Target that bleeds when you shoot it. Well butter my ass and call me a biscuit. I am impressed.

Time for an ATF post eh boys?

Indeed. On with it then.

A: A is for AmberBock. At least tonight it is. I would be imbibing with something a little stouter I suppose but I'm on my own with the boys.

T: Pipesmoke boys... Pipe smoke. Cavendish of some sort... I have no idea. I do love a fine pipe though. The ritual of the thing... the packing and mucking about. The fuss of it is extremely relaxing.

F: Shot my neighbor's dog today for attacking my peafowl and chickens. After the first attack... my neighbor drove up to my place... in nothing but boxers mind you... and said, "I saw that fucking dog of mine chasin' ya birds. Here's my pistol. You shoot that mother fucker if he does it again." I smiled and declined... I pointed out that I had plenty of pistols of my own but I appreciated that he understood. A while later the dog was over there again and nearly killed a chicken. .357 went bang. My neighbor offered me a beer and said, "Motherfucker had it comin'." Welcome to the rural south.